Hair Story

Ok, I have decided to grow out my hair.. short cut just ain't cutting it (pun intended) anymore, or perhaps I should change hairdresser...hmmm... Anyway, this means letting my hair go through the awkward growing-out phase (erk!). So far, I've probably grown about 0.5 inch already.. well, it starting to look a bit puffy..check it out (the hair, not my double chin..and yep, I'm a cam-whore!)!

A Week in the Life of Me: 14 - 20 May 2011

I know, I know, I have been totally remiss in updating the blog. What's the point of having a blog if I'm not gonna post anything right? Oh well, between being mommy and making headbands, I could hardly find time to just sit down and write. Sure, I've probably been writing in my head but bits and pieces here and there, and usually when I was off doing something like falling to sleep. :)


Sooooo.... what's been happening in the last 7 days? Not sure if it has been a good week or a bad one. Perhaps a bit of both. Not really good for my emotion - been getting a lot more emotional this past few days. Perhaps PMS? I admit, I do look a bit pale now but can I blame it on the late nights? I don't seem to be able to turn off before 2am. I know, it's bad especially when I have a baby who will wake me up at 4am asking for a feed, and again an hour later and an hour after that... sighhhh... but I can't help it, I just can't sleep!


So what do I do? I went to my craft table and make some headbands. I have to admit, I made some really wicked ones! Check them out!!

Aren't they cute? Well at least I think so. Hehe.. I had fun making them and am proud of every single one of them. 


Would be even great if doing this can generate me lots of money. You know, like doing home business, instead of having a day job? Opportunities such as that would be tons in countries like UK or USA but not in Brunei, I think. Especially not since the government had spent tons of money sending one off to get an overseas qualification so that one can give back to the country. But at the same time, it would be a waste as well to let go of a day job that pays me so much so that I can pay all that debt, although I am sad to say that the job I have loved doing before does not hold the same appeal to me anymore. Guess chalk it up to stress overload, leadership issue and me wanting to be there and watch my daughters grow, which I know will not be possible if I stay with this job. I would loveeeeeee to be a full-time mom and work from home, but in the Brunei context, it is still somewhat uncharted territory for a degree holder to do so. Perhaps someday, after I have cleared all my debt, say 10 years time... long time to go..so I'll try and stay positive till then..however, I really think I need that career change...


Anyways, speaking of headbands, maybe I didn't tell anyone this earlier but sometime end of last month, I sheared off my hair again. It is super short. Think Kimberly Wyatt PCD short. No, not short like Emma Watson short (don't think I could pull it off). 

Ok, may not be my best shot there but I really hate taking pictures of myself. Makes me very conscious of all my double-chin and fake smile thing. Hehehe.. well it's grown a bit since then but it was a bit shorter before. The instant it was chopped off, I actually regretted it. I should have kept the length it was then but just get it layered thin and straightened, instead of cutting it even shorter. Now I dunno how to wear my headband properly. There's just something wrong with the way my hair parted and puffed up at the sides, even though it has already been straightened. And to top it off, my cousin is getting married at the end of the month and of course, I want to look my best. My hairdresser did suggest that I colour my hair, since I have left it to the natural black since last year, but maybe I'll take him up on the offer - not that it's free.. hmph! 


Anyways, me and Shoukry had been discussing where to send Azeema to school after Joyful Kids Montessori.. well, I'm a member of this FB group called Brunei's Breastfeeding Mommies and one of the members posted about school choices for kids. Many schools were mentioned. Among others were:
Jigsaw - perhaps after JIS and ISB, may be the school with the most expensive montessori class. Around $300+ per month and normal kindy about $180+.
Stella - the best private school so far, great at improving student's reading progress, focusing on Peter & Jane books. Around $170+.
CHMS - sounds promising with VVIP treatment for parents, a unique way of teaching Maths that's not taught in other schools (that's why their kids are great in Maths), have ECA in Fridays or/and Saturdays. Around $160+ per month.


I am inclining towards CHMS, mainly because of their educational philosophy but at the same time also make time for play with less homework and ECA on Fridays. Their facilities are great but traffic jam has yet to improve. However, Shoukry is so not and would like to just send Azeema to a school nearby, which narrows down to SMS, Sunshine School, Nusa Laila Puteri School and SR Beribi. I am actually worried about the quality of teachers at some of these schools as they may be Filipino teachers with no HND, whereas in government school, it is mandatory to have at least a HND. I really don't understand his reluctance to send to CHMS, because at that price, Azeema is guaranteed to have quality education, with emphasis on Maths and Science but at the same time play as well. I've asked the mommies on the Brunei's Breastfeeding Mommies forum so hopefully can get some answers soon.


I must say, I am disappointed in myself for the way I let Azeema being raised the way she had been. I don't know if this is PMS speaking but I felt that there had been a lot of opportunities for her to be exposed to arts and craft by means of kindy classes but I was just too lazy or too ignorant. I wonder if she had been exposed to those in between age 1 - 3 instead of just being left to watch TV or run around in the house, would she show more creativity, intuition, independency, better behaviour? That's a lot of what-ifs. I wish somebody had written down a manual someway on how to be a better mom. I could kick myself, you know. Although Azeema is improving now ever since she started school, but I know she could have done better, especially in speaking and improving vocabulary. She still rambles, even though her words are more pronounced now, and not really speaking in a correct, full sentence. For someone who is 3 yrs 8 months, she should have been able to speak clearly and properly already. I am so worried. What can I do? Her attention span is something to be frustrated at, too. I know, I'm a bad mom. And someone just posted on FB on how kids who were breastfed for more than 4 months show less tendency for bad behaviour. Is that where I went wrong as well? Because I was too lazy (yes, I admit!) to breastfeed her. I only did it for 1 month - reason being not enough breastmilk but I know it was because I just didn't try hard enough. Oh mannnnn... ok Zida, gotta calm down girl... breatheeeee...


So now I'm trying to do right by Ayra, and I hope it's not too late for Azeema. I know Shoukry complains about the cost but then again they will not be 3 years forever. I have to catch the moment while I still can. And seriously, if he can spend thousands on a lens, I think he can spend some hundreds on Azeema's and Ayra's education.


Ok I think I better stop now before this becomes a whining session. 


To close, I think I better update you on Ayra. She's been developing well and her weight stands now at 4.7 kg, a good 2kg increase since birth. She's getting chubbier too and very cute. She can definitely engage with her eyes and recognizes me by sound and face, which I am really proud of. She smiles a lot now, and sometimes in her sleep. Oh and she's been bearing her weight on her legs, especially when I put her in her carrier and she sits on my lap. She will want to push off her legs and stand up, which I know very few children can do at 2 months. But still..I don't want her to overexert herself. One thing I'm worried about is how clingy she is. She loves to be cuddled and I mean loooovvveeesss. If she's in one of that mood, there's no putting her down. She'll just fuss all over again until you pick her up. I'm worried about how it'll be once I start going back to work later. I know I'll be sending her to my mom every morning but still... Anyways, have a look at the little angel:

Isn't she the cutest? Now I just need to make sure she doesn't catch on Azeema's cough. My throat has also been paining me lately but I do hope it will not come to more. But poor Ayra is having the sniffles at times. And it worries me to listen to her trying to breathe with her nose blocked. And to top it off, her poo has not been normal. She poos at least once every two days, and when she does, it'll be all liquidy. It could be something I ate but I just don't know what because I have been eating pretty much the same food since I gave birth. And so far I have only cheated twice..nope, can't tell you, otherwise, my mom will read this and give me hell..hehe..


Anyways, I have been watching a youtube video on Dunstan Baby Language. Will talk about this in the future because I just want to go to sleep now. 


And the icing on my not-so-super week is... my phone got barred without any prior warning. Usually they would send you an SMS telling that your phone is at 80% of credit limit, but nooooo...this time they just cut it off and I have no means whatsoever on how to pay. Great, right? Just great...


Oh well, till next time!


Zida xx

Freedom!!!

Yesterday marked the 40th day of my confinement, which means today is FREEDOM DAY!! I.e. I can now go out of the house, instead of being stuck here all the time!

So last night, me and Ayra attempted to sleep in my room - she in her small sleep basket in between me and Shook. Not sure if Shook like the arrangement (which meant he did not have enough space to spread himself) but it seemed a bit cozy. Azeema has been a bit jealous lately of the attention I gave to the sister, and it was evident again last night. She actually wanted to sleep with me as well. So Shook decided to actually drag a single bed into the room where he can sleep in and let the girls have the bed. Not sure if this should be practised coz Azeema should, by right, sleep in a proper bed by herself but separation anxiety and jealousy are quite high at the moment. Oh well..

What I need to do is get Azeema to sleep in her own bed (this may have to be still in our room - not sure where to put though) and put Ayra in Azeema's cot. But how to achieve this (especially to get Azeema to give up her cot) is beyond me..

Well, just wish me luck!

Zida xx

My Daily Post-Natal Ritual

How many of you actually go through the traditional post-natal treatment? Full or half? And how many of you don't do it at all? Well, I guess everyone's entitled to their own preferences. Me? Well, in my case, there's no such thing as 'I don't care' or my mom will have my head for breakfast! No, seriously, no kidding! Skip it one day, and I'll never hear the end of it. My mom is really traditional when it comes to these things. But then again, it really pays off for her. She's coming 55 but she still looks 45, or so many people tell me. Anyways, enough about my mother...

Yeah, I got the full treatment, only mine is home-made, as opposed to going to treatment centres such as W & A (the one in Kiulap) or Martha Tilaar. I saved a lot of money this way, I suppose.. So what does this entail? I think my daily routine below shall best describe the schedule, the do's and don'ts, the concoction that would be my best friend from day 1 after delivery:

When I wake up in the morning...

1. Wash face, brush teeth, etc

2. Take my insulin.. then go downstairs with Ayra

3. Take my jamu (I hate it but the taste is not bad) - this to be taken before every meal

4. Wait for 15 mins, and then take my breakfast

5. Bath time:
  a) Vaginal soak - 5 mins soak in water boiled with manjakani and betel leaf (key ingredients in feminine medicine) and mixed with sea salt, these help to heal the vaginal tear, clean the insides, tighten the vaginal canal
    b) Bath - Using water boiled with daun sembong and some other herbs.
  c) Hair washing - not too often, say, every 3 days. My mom told me every week but it's just not humanly possible for me.

6. Body treatment:
    I got these as a package (excluding the kapur, lime and minyak balsem) from a lady in Kuching who's niece does this for a living. Apparently takes about 1 month to finish. All home-made. It cost me about RM300 for the whole thing, worth it!

a) Minyak rempah - serves as massage oil. To be applied all over the body, face and hair (yup, hair also..oh well, at least I don't need to use conditioner..hehe)

b) Kasir Badan - Take 10 of these balls of powder,  add water and mix them well together. To be  applied on the arms, hands, legs and back. Once dry, just scrub them off. It serves as a traditional powder and exfoliating substance. I love the smell of it and it makes my skin really smooth.

c) Balsem Cap Kaki Tiga - To be applied on the tummy - front and back. This helps the kapur and lime to give better result.

d) Kapur and lime - these need to be mixed together, the kapur must looked pale yellow for it to work. To be applied on the tummy (front and back) after applying the massage oil and balsem. This helps to speeds up the contraction of the uterus to its original size, speeds up the vaginal bleeding and gets rid of excess fat. 

e) Tummy binding - using a post-natal binder (I recommend the binder with zig-zag pattern from Sendayu Tinggi) or a good tummy corset. Better result if used with a tummy and butt-shaping underwear.

f) Kasir muka - Take 2 of these, add water, mix well and apply on face. Scrub off once dry. It works the same way as the kasir badan.

g) Serbang dahi - I don't really use this often but this is to be applied on your forehead, helps to decrease post-natal headaches.

h) Tudung/ Serungkup - to cover your head, minimise headaches.

7. Leg bind - well, I did this for the first week only. It was kinda hard to walk when your thighs are being tied together. Think the way geisha walks. I even had to do this when I sleep.

Phew! All that for a morning..well, make it 45 mornings counting from the day I got home from the hospital.

Anyway, it's not just that. There's also traditional baths on 3rd, 7th and 45th day of confinement. A lady specialised in traditional post-natal treatment will do these for me. These are usually followed by traditional massage, urut peranakan and of course, binding of the tummy. For the 45th day bath, this will mark the end of the confinement period and one will have mandi wiladah (if one has not had it yet) and mandi nifas at the same time.

As of today, I am on my 36th day of confinement. Only 9 more days to FREEDOMMMM!!! But it still means no cold water, no soft drinks, no seafood, no oily stuff, no spicy stuff, no fish, hmm..what else ah? Well, at least until about 3 mths post-natal. Hmm..not sure if I would wait that long. Normally just 2 months, but last time with Azeema, I extended it to 3 months, but it was such a long wait. And patience is not one of my virtues.

I think that's all. Busy is only in the morning. Afternoon is more relaxing...

How I Met My Husband

It was back in 2005, specifically October 2005. I was browsing through my Friendster and found an email from someone named Shoukry. I found the spelling of the name a bit weird but I was curious, so I opened the mail. Let me see if I remember what he said.. hmm oh ya, he liked the many different hairstyles  I'd had on my pics and said I looked like a singer (how corny was that?) Then he said he was Czarena's cousin (so that made me even curiouser) and asked if I wanted to be friends. I checked out the profile. Shoukry apparently used to live in KB and just moved to Bandar area. As corny and weird I found the email was, my curiosity was great. Honestly, there was something about the email and the person (based on the profile) that I found somewhat intriguing. Don't ask me to define because up until now, I still don't know what it was that made me agree. Guess it's fate huh?

Anyway, I replied the email and I guess it snowballed from there. Exchanged phone numbers about a week after the first email, mainly coz I didn't have access to internet most of the time so emailing took time. But it wasn't until 3 weeks later that he gave me a call. And starting from there, we were on the phone everyday and even until wee hours in the morning. I found myself waking up from sleep still holding my phone. Not sure how the conversation ended there. 

We met for the first time in front of my house at about 3 or 4am in the morning. I just got back from sahur with my friends (it was puasa time) and was on the phone with him from on the way home till I got home. It didn't end there though. He was on the way home from Tutong after pool tournament and according to him, he got curious about where I live and such so he was asking directions to my house. I thought he just wanted to know so I gave the directions, not knowing he was actually going to appear in front of my house until he asked me to come downstairs. Crazy! Thankfully my dad was already asleep. And stupid me, I came downstairs in my battered t-shirt and shorts (hey, I was already getting ready for bed!). I found a grey VW Beetle parked in front of the gate and I got in. I felt really weird and a bit awkward at first. I couldn't even remember what we talked about but since it was really late in the morning, we kept the meeting short. I remembered him telling me that he wouldn't be calling me again after. I guessed he was not impressed with the way I looked. A bit disappointing because at that point, I actually had a crush on him, although to be honest, I was not expecting anything. It may seemed like as if I was quickly latching on to a guy who paid the slightest attention to me but I think what attracted me was the conversation that we had. I couldn't remember when I had fun talking to a guy or actually have an actual intelligent conversation than just pointless flirting conversation. Anyway, when I got to my room and settled myself in bed and was about to drift to sleep, guess who called? I think we were on the phone until about 6.30a.m. that morning. Had a headache the whole day!

I was not really sure how many days after that that we decided to go to the movies together. Honestly, I couldn't remember the date (I know, I know, not romantic at all... blame it on pregnancy, they chip away your brain cells bit by bit..hehe) but I remembered the name of the movie: The Skeleton Key. To be honest, I couldn't even remember what the movie was all about. Guess we were busy concentrating on each other to really concentrate (no point telling what happened - not for young readers! hehe), although I was a bit perplexed how it got to that point so fast. I didn't think I was giving the vibe but he swore I did. Dunno how he misread it. 

But to cut it short and without any proposal or anything, we officially became a couple that night. Romantic huh? I guess everything went so fast for us, even after that.. became couple after 3 weeks of emailing and phoning, talked about engagement 5 months into the relationship (February 2006), got engaged 5 months later (July 2006) and voila! got married 5 months later (December 2006). And to top it off, I got pregnant immediately after the wedding and 9 months later (September 2007), Azeema came along. Phew! Talk about not slowing down. But funny enough, it seems to work for us and we have been happily married (happy including the usual rows and arguments and sulking..you get the idea) for four years now. Hope we will continue to be so for many years to come. 

That's all for now. Will talk about my husband again some other time.

Adios!

Zida xx

A Little Bit of Intro...

Hi everyone!


Welcome to the chaotic (or perhaps not so chaotic) world of ME! 

This blog serves as an avenue for me to record the ongoings in my life.. I guess I'm thinking about immortalization.. Time flies by so fast, all there's left are memories and these are what I would like to preserve - hence immortalizing memories. What triggered this? I'm not so sure but I guess I was thinking about my late father and brother who passed away in 2009 and 2010 respectively, and how I wish I could remember all the things I did with them.. 

Anyways, so what's new for me? I just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on 11 March 2011 @ 1.57 p.m. Ayra Fazeela was 2.785 kg and 52cm long at birth and she's just so sweet.. This is my second child though. My first is also a girl, Azeema Nazaaha who was born on 2 September 2007 @ 2.25p.m. at birth weight 3.03kg and length 54cm. She is 3 years and 7 months old and currently attending Joyful Kids Montessori, convenient seeing that it is just 1 minute away from our house.

I can talk on and on about my two daughters but I'll save that for later blogs. 

So currently I'm still in my confinement period. 45 days seem a long time, especially for someone who's always out and about like me. Being stuck in my own house, not even allowed to step out of the door, is not pleasant, but at least I have good reason to do so. But I so can't wait for the 45 days to be over. First thing I'll do would be to head to my hairdresser and give my hair a good trimming and thinning. It's becoming too thick and annoying (my husband hates hearing me say that coz he wishes that he has more hair! hehe) Well at least, I have 105 days of maternity leave which will end on 12 June 2011. Quite long time huh? I'm so not looking forward to go back to work, especially not after the long leave! The confinement ritual is something to talk about as well, but I'll talk about this later. It deserves its own topic!

I guess that's all for intro. I'll be back again to talk about some of the things discussed earlier!

Anyway, since I'm new at this blogging thing, obviously there's a lot that needs to be improved, but don't worry.. practice makes perfect! :)

Adios for now! xx